HSBC Coffeebreak

“Look at the birds of the air…. Are you not worth much more than they?”
Matthew 6:26 NASB

It came close, sucked up tight and hung on. It reminded me of its presence as it tried to dig a little deeper into my being. Its name was FEAR, and it had taken hold of me when my insides had been pierced with pain. This wasn’t the first piercing, and it seemed that each new cut went a little deeper. I trembled, I hurt, I cried and I poured my heart out to the Lord.

In the days to come, I struggled with anger toward the one who had done the piercing. A battle took place within my heart. I loved the person dearly, yet I had been hurt deeply. Worse yet, I realized my growing fear of this person. As the day approached when we would meet again, I desperately prayed that God would help me to genuinely love this person.

My Heavenly Father prompted me to reach out to another believer for prayer support and accountability, which also led me to memorize a Bible verse specifically for my situation. I chose Isaiah 41:10, “Do not fear for I am with you. Do not anxiously look about you for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you. Surely I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

The day came and I, with a friend, set out for the journey. I sat in the passenger seat of the car recalling the verse that I had hidden in my heart. Knowing that I was weak, I had also taken my special notebook of Scripture verses with the intent to drink in God’s love and strength as we drove.

I did love the person whom I was going to see, but the pain overshadowed my love. I wanted to feel love for this person, but I didn’t. Willpower couldn’t force the shadows away. It seemed that my love for this person was all used up.

As I meditated on a few different verses, God spoke to my heart telling me that I could not love that person, but that He would love that person through me. It wouldn’t be my love, but instead, His love. Tenderly, my Heavenly Father assured me of His love for me and invited me to think about my worth in Him. I felt my Father filling me with His love and knew this was the genuine love that He would enable me to share.

I turned the page in my notebook and came upon Matthew 6:26. I sat in quiet contemplation of my worth in Christ and how God values me more than the birds of the air. I closed my eyes, soaking this truth in. Peace and strength began to overtake the dark shadows. I opened my misty eyes, still thinking of God’s amazing love and what did I see?

A beautiful bird was perched on a reed alongside the road just in front of our car. The delicate bird lifted its wings and gently flew in a small low circle beside the highway, then landed on the same reed again. By now, tears were streaming down my face.

It was late winter and this was the first bird that I had seen in months, and it was the only bird I saw that day. I believe God put that little bird there just for me. He knew exactly when I would be thinking about Matthew 6:26, and He knew exactly when I would open my eyes. In His sovereignty, God lovingly placed one of His birds in the perfect place at the perfect time. It was a beautiful and thoughtful monument of His care for me! For the rest of the day, I carried not only Isaiah 41:10 in my heart, but also a visual reminder of my Heavenly Father’s love.

God’s love overtook my fears that day. His care strengthened and enabled me to love the person whom I feared…the one who had hurt me so deeply…the one whom I had run out of love for. It was not easy. However, God had equipped me with what I needed, and He did the rest. Several times throughout the day I silently quoted Isaiah 41:10. The “bird scene” replayed in my mind, and my Heavenly Father and I engaged in silent communication many times. All glory to God, I can say that love won!

Oh Mighty Father,
Thank you for loving me with such an incredibly amazing and tender love-- that I could never deserve. I praise You for what YOU did, and I thank you for strengthening me to be a vessel of Your love in the face of fear.
Amen.

Written by
Jodeen Erickson