HSBC Coffeebreak Devotional

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven."
Ecclesiastes 3:1 NIV

Following the birth of my second child, I felt like I dropped off the planet. Functioning seemed all I could manage between meeting the needs of my 19 month old and my newborn. I began feeling guilty that I wasn't serving anywhere. I enjoy serving, but I just had no idea how to fit it in! All I did was sleep, cook, change diapers, nurse, etc. So what did I do? My Type A personality developed a system.

Taking into consideration my available time, I decided that one act of service that I could do was write encouraging notes to people. I enjoy writing and so I determined to write one encouraging card a week. It felt really good to still be contributing something to the kingdom!

I loved looking out for women who needed a card. I prayed about who to send them to -and then, one week, I came up short. I had no one in mind! What was I to do? I prayed and got nothing ... what was going wrong with my system? It was a few weeks before I felt God calling me to write a card ... only this time there were two women on my heart. I remember thinking, "Which one do I send this week, and which one needs to wait until next week?" As I prayed about this, I know God was shaking His head at me ... why couldn't I send two out this week?

In that moment, I had this realization: God didn't need my "system." He doesn't follow a system. God wanted me to simply listen to Him and respond when He needed me – maybe once a week, maybe once a year, maybe a small task, maybe something bigger. I realized that although I thought I had started my system because I missed serving, I now know I started my system out of fear. Fear that if I didn't start serving, He would ask me to do something I couldn't handle right then ... something that would send me over the edge as I adjusted to life with two children.

I think that fear really pained God. He is my Heavenly Father ... He loves me more than anyone – why would I think that He didn't know my situation and wasn't aware of my limitations – He created them! God gently reminded me that I can trust Him with the details of my day to day life and circumstances. If I choose to listen to Him as I go about my daily living, I will hear Him speak to me. He will ask me to serve, but I have to trust that when He does, He will provide the time, the energy, the resources – and that He will never ask me to over commit. He has my life in perfect balance. It is me who struggles to rest in that beautiful balance.

Dear Heavenly Father, I want to always have an ear toward hearing You speak to me each day. Help me learn that You know where I am at in my life at this moment ... and that You will only call me to do what You know I can accomplish in Your power. Help me to be willing to trust that Your power can allow me to serve... as you ask.

Written by
Holly Hauskins