HSBC Coffeebreak Devotional

"And lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age."
Matthew 28:20

College was an interesting season in my life, full of new experiences, adventures and ideas. It was exciting, yet it was also difficult as I struggled with what to do with my life and how to live out my faith. Often, it seemed, God was a silent partner in my struggles. I so badly wanted Him to show up visibly in my life to give me direction on decisions I had to make or encouragement in my sometimes very weak faith. During those years, I struggled with wondering if God was really there and, if He was, why was He so silent and invisible? I yearned to have tangible reassurance of His presence and His guiding hand in my life. I often wished I could get a letter in the mail from Him in which He would expound on His love and acceptance of me, and then would give me explicit details concerning what actions I should take for my future.

One summer night, sitting on the steps of the house I was renting as I attended summer school, I again poured out my heart to my God, begging Him for some communication that I could hear and recognize as being conclusively from Him. I remember looking up at the dark, cloudless sky. The breeze was warm and gentle, lifting my hair and playing gently with the nearby leaves. There were bright stars out surrounding a beautiful, full moon. The sky was so clear that I could make out the dark patches on the moon.

Suddenly, a cloud just larger than the moon covered the moon completely. Surprised, I looked around and wondered where the cloud had come from. Seconds ago, the sky had been completely clear. I heard a gentle voice speak to me, saying, "Chris, is the moon still there?" I froze for a moment. The gentle voice nudged my thoughts again, "Chris, is the moon still there?" I whispered, "Of course, it is, Lord." Then His voice reassured me that He was always there, like the moon, even if events, my own doubts, or His quiet obscured my ability to sense His presence. I sat quiet in the realization of the nearness of His presence, no matter if I could tangibly sense it or not.

The memory of that experience has come back to me often throughout my life. My faith in His presence and love for me is exercised when my knowledge of His presence and love for me is not something I can experience in a tangible sense. This reality has comforted and reassured me in uncertain times.

Written by
Chris Bushnell